Building or Tearing Down?

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ’Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:1-5 (ESV)


It’s really easy to point out the faults in others, isn’t it? There are hidden lists of faults of people in our personal lives tucked away in our hearts and minds. The minute one of them messes up we quickly add their blunder to their list of faults. These lists of past blunders can sometimes be added up and then we have several blunders we keep holding on to for years and years. The purpose of building these lists of faults is due to the unwillingness to forgive and let go. What we do is use these lists of faults (usually during a heated “discussion”) against them. The list of past offenses and or faults starts to fly out of our mouths faster than anyone can blink. That’s when words like “always,” or “never,” or “here we go,” are used.

These words, among many other negative words can quickly become harmful. We neglect to realize that these words can tear down instead of build up a person. Our need to win, or to prove that we are right at any cost can quickly cost us the closeness of the relationship we have with the other person. We tend to forget that God is paying close attention to how we are managing our “discussions.” We do however notice when our feelings get hurt. The words that are told to us, that is if the other person is willing to say anything at all back to us, are the ones that we tend to focus on more. Why is that?

Are any of us free of any faults? No. Are any of us willing to admit that having to always be right or the need to win a “discussion” is a fault in and of itself? What did Jesus mean in Matthew 7:1-5? Is it that we can’t point out anyone’s faults at all? No. We can but, we need to first look at ourselves, really look at ourselves with the same type of measurement or expectation we have for everyone else. Let’s build up our loved ones instead of tearing them down. ‘“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.’” John 13:34-35